Church Culture - Honesty

But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.  Ephesians 4:15

Our human nature can be tempted to mislead others by what we say or do.  Sometimes we can deceive people due to a desire to hold our position, to slack off on a duty, or even to cover up a secret.  Consider how often this can easily be part of our communication if we are not aware of Satan’s tactics.  This type of dishonesty can lead to communication struggles and conflicts in our relationships.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.
Romans 12:18

In other words, we are to do all that we can to make “peace” with another.  God has given us specific instructions in how to do so in Matthew 18:15-20.

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.  Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. Again, I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.  For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

What is meant by the words loosing and binding? In other words, because of the authority given to believers to handle these issues, whatever we bind (forbid) or loose (free) on earth, it is as if, it has already been done in heaven whether bound (forbidden) or loosed so that God’s will, His eternal plan can be carried out. 
 
What should we do when a brother or sister is offended by another brother or sister?  We should go to that person and tell them. 

What is the condition for adding more people to go with you to an offended brother or sister?  They do not listen to you. 

If that person does not listen, we should continue to make attempts to work things out with our sister or brother, adding mature believers one or two at a time. 

Sharing the problem with the church and removing the offender from the church should be a last resort and only after numerous attempts from our church body for restoration have been taken.  Forgiveness takes one person; reconciliation takes two.  When a person refuses to be restored and it has gotten to the point of bringing it before the church, the bitter person should be removed from the church body so that the “root of bitterness” does not trouble the whole church (Hebrews 12:15).

Communicating truth is not an easy thing to do but being honest and speaking the truth in love is in the best interest of both parties-the offender and the offended-as well as for the whole body of Christ.